I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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