we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
