Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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