remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
