If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
