If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
