no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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