Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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