all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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