I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
is this the sara with the beer cane?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
