I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
