doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
