Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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