i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
