Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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