using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I got inside last night via doggy door
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
