That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
