I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
