tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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