rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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