I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
