My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
