soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
