just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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