I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
