So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
