Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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