Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
