She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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