My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
