This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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