It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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