my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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