whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
