then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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