My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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