Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
