so explain again why im purple
no
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
