my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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