redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
