wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
