how hairy? two words: wookie tits
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
