the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
A+ Viking dick
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
