we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
and she was petting her beer can
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
