So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
