Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
