It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
