The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
