was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
