Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
