I'm so fucking centered right now
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
